Thoughts of a Meantime Girl

Yes, I am a ‘meantime’ girl.

I am the one he turns to, for the meantime, just because she isn’t here,
  the one he holds hands with, the one he hugs and kisses.
I am the one who he takes home, for the meantime, to his family,
  but just referred to as the ‘special friend’ he is spending time with.
I am the one who doesn’t demand time and affection just because he’s talking to her on the phone
I am the one who can’t go public, can’t shout to the whole world that I love him, just because someone who’s not supposed to find out might do so.

Yes, I am a meantime girl.

I’ve always been told there are a lot of guys out there who will be ‘safer’ to love,
  the one with less risks, less fears, less chances of a heartbreak.
Yet I choose to put my heart on the line and expose myself to the danger
Of having the whole of me breaking apart as a meantime girl.

Again, yes, I let myself be a meantime girl.

I wanted to show how much I love him, I wanted to show how much I care,
Though I definitely could, even in the outside world, I could hug him, kiss him, as much as I wanted…
…yet wouldn’t it be nicer if I could post his name as someone I’m in a relationship with?
But still, for now, it’s just wishful thinking.

And, yes, you know why, it’s because I’m just a meantime girl.

Silence is my best friend because I’m protecting his feelings.
In silence I express how this tears me apart
How long will this take? 
I don’t know, and I don’t really care.
As long as we’re together, then no else really matters
Who knows — and I’m hoping — that one day, I’ll be truly happy,
Because I’m no longer there as his ‘meantime’ girl,

I’ll be there as his forever…


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